:: i dont live my life like the Beckhams ::

.being a mother is tough. i'm not complaining here. i'm jus stating the truth. motherhood is not a breeze ok. i dont believe people who claimed that being a mother is easy - unless they dont take care of their kids on their own lah.

.me, for example, is currently working and Sulis is taken care of by MIL. my initial plan before i started work was to pick her up everyday after work (pls note that i have my own house and i'm NOT staying wit any parents or in-laws - there's only 3 of us inc. Sulis in the house ok). my plan failed coz due to the fact dat i am.. *ahem* a spoilt DIL-do. hahahahahahaha.. ILs dont want me to tire myself. so i kinda decide to sleep over there on alternative days or when i hv my night classes. now it comes to sleepin over only on thursday nights so i didnt get to see Sulis for 3 nights!! but i hv her all to myself for the weekends.

.routines like mine might seemed a little relaxed for some mothers. yes, i agree. i hv mondays till wednesdays all to myself.

.come 2008, i'll be a full time mother. how am i feeling? mixed.

.no doubt i'm more than overjoyed to be able to take care of my kids on my own, i know it will not be an easy task. but @ least i dont dump my kids wit others and then having to complain to others about my kids not being taken care of in my own way. i admit i have been doing that - i'm a bad person. so in order not to add more sins, i am ready to take in those responsibilities. furthermore, it is ME that wanted more kids. they are MY responsibilites. and most importantly, they're MY kids. i dont want my kids to go astray while i'm busy 'finding money'. my kids are my duties. tired or not, they're mine.

.financial wise, i'm afraid, has to be jup's job. its a pity to see him work so hard for us. therefore, my job in dis financial matters is not to be extravagant. well, as some of you guys know, i dont really spend a lot on my own needs. i'm very the 'tak kuasa' kind. i find myself easily contented wit watever it is that i hv. so hopefully, i will keep it dat way. lucky i'm not high maintenance and i dont need high end designer labelled clothings/bags/apparels to make me feel like vic beckham. kah kah kah kah.. also, if i want somethin bad, i believe in saving up and pay in cold hard cash IN FULL. no hutangs hor. i'm not gloating about myself here but i see and know people who bergaya but have unsettled debts in their lives and i dont see a point in boasting about their material possessions to others. sad life when one is in debts. i hv debts as well - MY HOUSE! hahahahahahahaha..

.some people i know jus love to tell others they've purchased a new LV bag which costs a bomb. if i got somethin to say abt it, they'll say i'm jealous. (huh?!) an LV bag doesnt suit me coz if you know wat kinda person i am, u try imaginin me carryin an LV bag. c'mon - jus imagine. i know u guys are laughin right? babusat tau korang semua. i was talkin abt dis to lin during lunch and she said - lv bags r not indie enough. then i was picturing myself carryin an lv speedy - i wanted to laugh.

.and dats y - i dont live my life like the beckhams.