:: dis is not meant to be negative - Part 1 ::

.i hope i dont sound like i'm complaining here. i jus wanna let out or rather, share dis experience of mine.

.yes, being a full time mother is not easy. full time mother in my post means - stay @ home strictly wit children, no one else @ home wit u - dat means, no maid/mother/mother in-law as well. dat explains why i have been missing in action in updating or posting any stuff.

.as i was sayin, motherhood is not easy. i didnt hv much to say when i got my first kid coz my MIL helped in taking care of her while i worked during the weekdays. i only got to see my daughter maybe 4 days out of 7. so i kinda hv time for myself. went for massages, went shopping/dining wit peeps. i even started schooling again. my schoolmate called me a weekend mum. i was hit hard in the head dat time. i found out truly the meaning of being a mum after i gave birth to my second child. n then my life begins..........

.n so, apart from handling my kids which is 2 yrs apart, i cook & i clean. i've got no maid & i'm not living wit anybody else except jup (my husband of course) & my 2 little angels. my life is now full of challenges which varies almost everyday. u can never feel sleepy on a rainy afternoon. hahahahahaha..

.i refuse to hv a maid taking care of my kids or my house as i frankly cannot entrust my house & my kids to strangers. i dont wanna end up abusing maids. no, i dont need dat kinda attention. i'd rather be the slave rather than to enslave. furthermore, i'm the mother. i go through hours of labour pain & i dont hv d heart to jus let my kids being cared for by strangers. no offence to those who have maids. i dont mean to condemn but i'm jus gently sharing my thoughts & experience. hehehehe.. as for my house, i'd rather maintain it myself. susah dulu senang kemudian mahhh... n i dont mean to boast about how capable i am. seriously, i'm no tag heuer. i crack under pressure ok. but turning yr directions to the CREATOR helps so much.

.i do not want to go back to work as i strongly believe in bringing up my children & caring for my household on my own. i dont give 2 hoots about wat other people wanna say. financial? i dont intend to live my life like d Beckhams so be it. as long as my kids hv food to eat daily, i'm contented and thankful. no - no LV/Coach bags for me (i pity jup ok. plus, i'm not dat sort).

.n so as i stepped dis whole new world, i learned loads. i dont think i need to attend a time management course. initial part of my embarkment on dis journey was hell. breakfast for Sulis was always Macdonalds. hehehehe.. n when Sufia cries for milk in the middle of the night, Sulis cry as well. n they dont cry - they WAIL!! hahahahaha.. those of you who havent heard how Sufia cries, it's the same as Sulis. both of them hv telan microphone voices like....... me. hehehe.. it was tough. but i was lucky dat Sufia slept thru d night when she's only abt a month old.

.as time goes by these few months, d solution to end the chaos @ home & having to eat tapau food daily is so bloody simple - WAKE UP EARLY! yes. now no matter how late i slept & how tired i was from d day/night before, i will never fail to wake up early (well there are rare occasions dat i failed u know). pls do not ask me wat time (its not as early as u think lah but still early for some). i only know dat by d time i finished preparing for breakfast/lunch/dinner & laundry done for d day, i saw sunlight. n waking up dat early really helps to clear d day's load by half! no joke. so i'm left wit only cookin & cleaning d house. most of the jobs dat need to be done will hv to be completed before my kids wake up.

.i hv to do dat. if not, i wont have d time to sit & play wit my kids in d day. they need my attention & i cant possibly focus my attention elsewhere when they need me. n so, waking up early is the best solution. early preparation saved my life. hahahahahaha.. frankly, though u planned ahead carefully, the day's journey is not 100% smooth sailing ok. there're bound to be hiccups somewhere. u cant predict d kids' behaviour & mood. i have my worse times... n more yet to come. hehehehe..

.......will continue......

:: how? ::

.who says motherhood is a breeze? 

.isnarny, if you're reading this - you're a SUPERMOM!

.i wonder how some people i know (full time mums, i mean) has got loads of time to go online. i really wonder. i think they either have maids or staying wit parents so that they can help with both household chores & child rearing.

.i'm jus having one kid and gonna have another soon and i'm already juggling with playtime & cooking/cleaning time. and the only time i can sneak a peek in cyberspace is when Sulis is napping (which is rare now) or at night when Sulis already sleep (which I ended up sleeping as well). 

.no, i'm not complaining. in fact i kinda enjoy having to do things one after another (though its really tiring, no joke). keep my endorphins level up. i can't imagine how hectic my life is gonna be when my number 2 comes soon.... kinda scared actually.

:: time to go ::

.today's the last day of my so-called working life. if only i can drag my kids to the office then i might consider coming back to work. if not, so sorry. i want so much to be around my kids.

.i have pondered enough and i weighed the pros and cons of such decision. i guess being a full time mum has more positive benefits for both mother & children in the future. the only negativity about being a full time mum is obviously, the financial part. seriously, i don't think it's a big thing knowing that all these rezeki comes from Allah. but as a saying goes 'Trust in ALLAH but tie your camel', i will not be sitting down and grow my ass big. should there be any opportunities coming my way, i'll grab it - provided i'm more stable & able to organize my time with my kids.

.well, dis is my honest opinion. i don't see financial woes as my top priority. i'm contented with my life now. i don't need to live like Victoria Beckham. hehehehe.. other mothers might have different point of view and i respect them. well, we all have different views on things, right?

.and so begins my journey as a SAHM. @ least i don't have to point my fingers at others for the dissatisfactory ways my children is being treated and taught. good or bad, my family is under my care and ALLAH is my judge.

.my check-up today tells me that i'm 3cm dilate and i'm having regular contractions. so its anytime, anyday now. 

.PEACE & LOVE.

:: wat's wit them? ::

.first, it was the battle of that 'Rasa Sayang' song.

.now, this.....

.dont they have anything better to do? sigh.. i rest my case.

:: poor me ::

.i've always love men who looked like these...

.so tell me why i ended up marrying someone who looked like THIS...

.hahahahahahahahahahaha.. love is blind and lovers can't see.. well, dat's my hubby!!